Articles from Issue 10

The following are sample articles from Issue 10.
Please support the Jerusalem Rape Crisis Center by purchasing the issue in PDF format, by clicking here. Thank you!

The Deafening Side of Silence (By Hadass S. Ben-Ari)
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Some time ago, I went to a friend for a Shabbat lunch. There were about two dozen other women there. At some point during our various conversations, we got to the topic of sexual harassment. Somehow, we decided that every woman should introduce herself to the rest of the group – because we didn’t all know one another – by telling a story of a traumatizing or invasive experience she had. This is how every woman there introduced herself:
“My name is (name) and I was sexually harassed last week/month/year/yesterday/this morning…”
Every single woman there had a story related to sexual harassment on some level, subtle or overt. Although each one of us had a different history, different background, born in different countries, studied or worked in different fields, had different hobbies and talents, and unique appearances, we all shared the experience of sexual harassment.
Although we acknowledged the fact that men are not immune to this kind of experience, we also could not deny that this type of scenario could never take place with a group of men, where each one of them would have a story about being sexually harassed. The fact that all of us had a “random dude grabbed my ass on the bus” story was overwhelming… and eye opening as well.
I view sexual harassment and rape as one of the only crimes that do no discriminate. If you’re a woman, you’re in danger. Tall, short, skinny, chubby, old, young, religious, secular, classy, tomboy, black, Asian, Jewish, gay, straight – a rapist does not see the difference.
All these horrific stories on the news – a father raping his daughter while the mother stands idly by, a group of young men raping elderly women, 14-year-old boys sexually harassing girls in their class, a nun gang raped by a random group of men, a serial rapist on the loose – it seems to never end.
But until we can rise victorious in our battle against sexual violence or any kind of violence against women, we must first learn to overcome our own experiences by breaking our silence and be heard, so that these news stories will no longer serve as the golden shock factor coveted by media outlets worldwide, but as the real and potent reality that we, as women, face on a regular basis.
Silence is something that many women struggle with, me being one of them and I am still holding an inner dialogue with myself trying to figure out if and how to break the silence. But every woman should do so at her own pace and in a way that feels right, because being forced into any act is wrong.
Writing is a big part of healing in a lot of areas in my life as it is for many other women I know. So this issue of Fallopian Falafel serves as an outlet for those who want to make their story heard, those who are ready to break the silence, and also for those women and girls who may feel alone in their pain and need to know that they are far from alone, and that they may very well be a part of a majority of women who felt or are feeling that same pain and fear. It contains poems, fiction stories, actual accounts, and religious discussions on sexual violence. To end on a positive note, the Riot Grrrl Corner brings you Le Tigre’s “Keep On Living.”

A Time to Talk (By Hadass S. Ben-Ari)
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Safe Sex (By Arlene L. Alyehs)
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Some women practice safe sex.
They practice everyday—like playing the piano.
They had boyfriends at the right times,
In the right amounts and sequentially.
They demurred—or demanded condoms or got married.
They have children. They watch TV. They read in bed.

But for some women, sex was never, is never, will never be safe.
At two or three your stepfather, uncle or babysitter
Or the next-door neighbor
Puts your pudgy hand into his pants
And you feel something silky hot hard and then slimy wet
And he threatens you with whatever is most precious
Whatever you can’t afford to lose
Like your dog or teddy bear or your mommy or
Him.

And later—on the subway a stranger reaches under your skirt
And cups your buttocks while your
Mother or Father or nanny is reading The New York Times
And he gets off at the next stop

And you’re not quite sure what to say or to whom, or
If it really happened.

On dates you slide away from hands or grab them.
You refuse to kiss or kiss passionately.
You like hoodlums or girls only or older men
Or no one.

You read porno magazines, Kinsey, Masters and Johnson
The Hite Report.
You practice TM, liberating masturbation, yoga, Tai Chi,
Macrobiotics, aerobics, country dancing
You even practice sex.

But no matter how much you practice
You never get it right.
And no matter how many birth control pills, diaphragms, coils,
Sponges, condoms, douches you use
Sex is never
Safe.

Hearts Crossed Out (By Clementine Cannibal)
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A Separate Violence: Recalling Female Abuse During the Shoah (By Alana M. Sobelman)
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Why I Sang "Night Prowler" (By Tamra Spivey)
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Crime was a constant at Jabberjaw in Crenshaw. Friendships were born in the aftermath. One night when the PeeChees were playing two guys from San Pedro had their truck broken into: shattered glass everywhere. We waited with them for the police who, as we tried to flag them down, drove slowly by, laughing at us. They were both white, one was a woman.
After Jabberjaw closed, the two guys from San Pedro opened a club in a bleak strip of warehouses along Pacific Coast Highway: PCH Club. The first time we were asked to play there we went down to check it out and to my shock I had a full blown panic attack, something that never happens to me. I was sure I was going to die in a car crash or assault any second.
Later that night after talking it over with my best friend I figured it out. PCH Club and the area around it looked an awful lot like where I was taken in tenth grade when I was kidnapped, beaten, raped and nearly murdered. I was having a flashback.
The band wanted to cancel the show but I didn’t want to. I think we were opening for Red Monkey from the UK. I decided I wanted to face this down. I wanted to use the fear, harness it to my performance, and be rid of at least some of it. I found the two creepiest predator songs I could to make into my revenge song.
“Night Prowler” by Bon Scott’s AC/DC is known around SoCal as the Richard Ramirez song because it helped inspire the Hispanic satanic causing panic serial killer to call himself the Night Stalker. “Pacific Coast Highway” from Sonic Youth’s Sister CD is a Kim Gordon song about a predator in a car. Given the club placement, it seemed magical. I began seeing what I was doing as a ritual of catharsis.
The night of the show I wore a big black hoodie (when I sang Night Prowler PCH I pulled the hoodie over my head). It had silkscreened in white on the back of it the planet Earth and the words Terror Worldwide. When I put it on I thought of all the girls and women raped and murdered every day in the world.
At first as I sang it I was shaking and sweaty but as I began using the lyrics as my own words, as I imagined myself as the hunter, taking vengeance on a rapist, I began feeling an incredible amount of energy. By the end of the song I was relaxed, relieved, and happy even. People said I was glowing.

Honor Killing and Abuse (By Maha Ismail)
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The Shriek (By Sue Tourkin-Komet)
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Violated (By Ariel Blacher)
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Girls Scare Boys (By Shira Pruce)
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Picnic (By Yasmin Eshref)
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The Sexual Politics of Mental Illness (By Hannah Greenberg)
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Inside Job (By Arlene L. Alyehs)
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SANE: An Interview With An Expert
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Where's My Childhood? I Think it's Around Here Somewhere... (By Sandra Fragola)
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Happy, Sad, Angry, Victorious (By Shira Pruce)
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Happy, Sad, Angry, Victorious - not always in that order.
Jamie Leigh Jones is just one of the names you may or may not know. She is one of the women who made it to the news, as opposed to every other 1 in 6 women that survives rape or attempted rape in the US. Jones was an employee of government contracted KBR in Iraq when she was drugged and gang raped by coworkers. She was denied a fair trial, being “unable to sue KBR for sex discrimination in open court because KBR was one of many companies with government contracts that require employees to sign individual contracts barring lawsuits and forcing mandatory binding arbitration, where the company almost always wins.” (according to NOW). She started the Jamie Leigh Foundation for women who find themselves in similar situations.

Sad, Angry, Angry, Sad, Angry
President Moshe Katzav and his ongoing rape case barely make the news, despite the fact that he allegedly raped women repeatedly in his offices and hotel rooms. We await his sentence.

Happy, Sad, Angry, Victorious, Sad, Angry
In 2000, a religious cab driver in Jerusalem inappropriately and unwantedly accosted me during a 15 taxi ride. In 2002, I marched in my first Take Back the Night. We screamed, we marched, we were united, we were together, we were not ashamed. Fuck that taxi driver.

Happy, Drunk, Angry, Sad, Victorious
In 2004, I had a date that lasted too long. He refused to leave and nearly raped me. In 2008 I took course IMPACT at El Halev in Jerusalem. We screamed, we kicked, we battled, we learned, we changed, we got stronger, we are ready and we know what to do.

Angry
Four million women and girls are trafficked each year globally.

Angry
Every two minutes in America someone is sexually assaulted.

Victorious
Every time a woman signs up for a self-defense course, or joins a martial arts class, attends Take Back the Night, joins a survivors group, or prosecutes a rape - we win.

Support or volunteer at these organizations doing amazing work to prevent and support survivors of rape and sexual assault: El Halev, Jerusalem Rape Crisis Center, Women to Women Jerusalem Shelter for Battered Women. Be a part of the road to Happy and Victorious!

She Told on Him (By Sandra Fragola)
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The girl’s uncle tells her that no one will believe he touched her
She told on him
The girl presses charges against her uncle
She told on him
The girl testifies against him in court
She told on him
The girl’s mother, father and brothers are there in the courtroom supporting her
She told on him
The girl’s uncle hangs his head in shame
She told on him
The girl’s uncle confesses to everything
She told on him
The girl’s family disowns him
She told on him
The girl’s uncle is going away for a long time
She told on him
The girl celebrates for putting him away
She told on him
The girl feels justice has been served
She told on him because he thought he could get away with it….
She proved him wrong

Dans le ventre d'Eve (par Sylvie Berube)
In Eve's Belly (By Sylvie Berube)
In French and English
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The Mysterious East (By Arlene L. Alyehs)
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When the Bough Breaks (Song by The Agonist)
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Breaking Dina's Silence: The Biblical Story of Dina and its Significance (By Tamara Frankel)
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Riot Grrrl Corner (By Hadass S. Ben-Ari)
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